With realization of one’s own potential & self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.
Developing your sense of self-confidence in a relationship may be difficult if you have a low sense of self-esteem or have been hurt in previous relationships. However, a healthy sense of self-confidence will not only enhance your relationship but also improve your health, ability to deal with stress and overall emotional well-being.
For whatever reason you’re feeling insecure, we offer these 5 tips to help you start feeling better about yourself and more confident in your relationship.
- Make sense of your life story
We can’t change the past. Our childhood experiences have shaped us as the women we are today — both the good and the bad parts. However, what we CAN do is change the way we view the past.By linking past experiences to your present, you’ll be able to better understand the motives behind your actions and move forward, so that your past — while it remains an integral part of yourself — doesn’t define you.
- Understand how to express insecurities in your relationship
When trying to address the insecurities that seep into your relationship, it’s important for you to be honest with yourself. And part of that is becoming self-aware. Are you a person who tends to distance yourself from your partner or are you more of the needy type? Answering honestly is crucial. “You need to tune into your inner world and then share it with your partner.”
- Show self-compassion
Once you’ve become aware of how you express your insecurities, it’s important to continue to practice self-awareness and recognize moments when you’re letting your insecurities shine through. In these moments, practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the response to yourself when suffering. Unlike self-esteem, we have control of self-compassion. Self-esteem involves the evaluation of yourself compared to others. It encompasses your feelings toward your performance in a certain situation. We can’t control how we feel, but we can control the response to our feelings. “Self-compassion is that controlled response through which we accept our insecurities and work through them.”
- Practice self care
Fulfilling basic needs, such as hunger and thirst, can make a big difference when trying to strengthen your relationship habits, practicing self-awareness and showing self-compassion. If you don’t satisfy your hunger or quench your thirst, this can act as an obstacle when fulfilling these higher tasks.
- Separate self-worth from performance
While showing self-compassion, it’s important to separate your self-worth from your performance. A lot of us feel our worth is based on our performance on a given day. This idea is known as contingent self-worth. When you perform poorly, you get down on yourself and feel insecure, which is when you really want to show yourself some self-compassion.
If you don’t value yourself, then you will always be attracted to people who don’t value you either. Confident people value and accept themselves for who they are. They embrace the good, and are accepting of the not-so-good. As a result, they attract quality partners and are able to connect on a real, genuine level, one that leads to real intimacy and a healthy relationship.