Are you raising your kids completely on your own? Without a co-parent to share parenting time or even discuss discipline issues or academic concerns? Some single moms and dads, who’ve had negative co-parenting experiences, might tell you that you’re “lucky,” but nothing is easy about being the only adult responsible for every aspect of your kids’ lives. If you’re faced with the task of raising your kids solo, 24/7, use these tips to manage your life and tap into your inner strength as a single parent:
It is a great thing!
- Value being and having a single parent
- Rediscover and redefine your family life, roles and responsibilities.
- Tackling the new and uncertain future ahead together with gusto.
- Make it a partnership and dynamic team effort. DO NOT BE A LONER OR ISOLATE!
Life goes on!
- Foster closeness, bond and connection
- This goes for you and your child/children
- Estranged spouse, divorced parent, family, friends, new role-models, support groups, school etc.
- Set the rules and stage for success, socializing and contact with others – you are not an island – DO NOT GO IT ALONE OR EVEN TRY TO! IT IS NOT WORTH IT… ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT!
Foster confidence, not powerlessness
- Enable and empower yourself and your family to succeed
- Individually and as a new family unit
- Everyone allowed to deal/cope with situations at their own pace, time and in their own way NO TWO JOURNEYS ARE THE SAME
Make emotional recovery a priority for all of your, individually and together to move forward
- Single parenting is a skill-set that develops and refines over time
- Make it a priority to be the caretaker of all areas and aspects of family life, including feelings and emotions – they are real and should not be denied!
Be engaging, involved and fair
- Spend time with your kids as often as you can and make every moment count!
- Enter boldly un-chartered waters where you and/or your kids have never been before and embrace your new status and life as a new family
Always accessible and available
- Remember the old, without dwelling on it, embrace the new, discovering it together
- Be the helping hand when your kids need it (even when they/you think they do not!)
- Connect with other peers and adults, family and friends
- Be spontaneous, honest and have some FUN together
Be the rock and pillar of strength ( taking care of yourself first, so you can take care of others – Better! )
- When things are rough, changing and unfamiliar, dangerous, engaging and tune in to the needs of you personally and those of your child/children (whether only child or multiple children).
- Everyone in the family matters – make it so!
Try and see this from different angles and from your child’s perspective as well.
Re-establish lasting connections, bonds and ties that defines who this family is and what this family wants, set priorities and have a plan.
Encourage confidence and have some fun, rebuild and strengthen one-step at a time, laugh together, empower and engage your family.
Raising a child is like an ocean voyage – full of raging storms, rough waves, and occasional sunny tranquility. It’s hard enough with a partner, but when you’re doing it alone, the difficulty rises to a whole new level.
Yet parents all over the world are successfully and joyfully raising children by themselves. Just because you’re steering a one-person kayak rather than a two-person canoe doesn’t mean you can’t handily navigate the tumultuous waters of parenthood.